Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
by Tigeress08 AKA XxGothicAngelxX
Summary: 5 years on Earth, Zim finally realizes that his mission is a cruel hoax. He and Dib become closer and realize they aren't so different afterall. What will happen to their relationship, and Zim, stranded on Earth? Possible ZaDr in later chapters. R R pleas
1. Realization

Hello all. This is something I wrote which was inspired by the song _"Haven't Found What I'm Looking For_" by U2. The rating on this might go up due to content, but that is for me to decide with later chapters. Enjoy!

Also, I do not own any of the characters. They are (c) Jhonen Vasquez and Nickelodeon Studios.

* * *

_Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For_

**Author:** Tigeress08

* * *

"You can't do this to me!"

"Oh yes, yes I can. You're about to find out what I really can do."

"They'll find me, you know! They'll find me, and then they'll find you!"

"By the time they find you, there won't be enough of you left to be recognizable; and by then I'll be long gone. So struggle against those restraints all you want, it won't help. Those are made out of some of the strongest material in the universe. You aren't going to escape."

"…What are you doing? What's that?!"

"It's a tranquilizer. It's to make you shut up. You're giving me a headache."

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I HATE YOU! I swear to God…. When I get out of here….. when I… you're going to… you…"

* * *

Dib awakened several hours later in a dark room. He couldn't make out where he was, or what time it was; all he knew was that his head hurt. He could tell he was in an upright position, but was unable to move his arms or legs. The darkness that surrounded him was eerily silent, and for a moment he wondered if he was blind and deaf.

Frantically, he twisted his body in an attempt to escape whatever was holding him. No matter what he did, Dib couldn't break free of the restraint. A few moments later, sweat perspiring from his forehead, he finally surrendered his efforts and attempted to look around. Darkness hung in the room like a think blanket of fog, and nothing could be seen.

Finally realizing his attempts were futile, Dib pressed his back against the backboard that was behind him and dropped his head. His hair fell in his face and matted itself to his forehead. He took a deep breath and waited. After all, what else could he do?

* * *

Zim sat at his computer, staring at the screen. Unbeknownst to Dib, he was only a mere one-hundred feet away, and had heard the human awaken. During the many hours that Dib was unconscious, Zim had contacted his leaders; the Almighty Tallest. Up until this point, Zim had actually believed that he had a purpose on this planet. He had taken immense pride in being an Invader, and had gone to great lengths to impress these so-called 'almighty' leaders. The last transmission back to Irk left him speechless and emotionally void.

It was only a few hours ago that Tallest Red had finally told Zim that he was a disgrace to the Irken Empire, and that his mission was no more than a method of getting rid of him for good. They had never expected there to be a planet "Earth." They thought Zim had been sent into the vast emptiness of the universe to die. He had never had a mission; he wasn't wanted. He could never return home… but then again, he never wanted to now anyways. Everything he had worked for, everything he had accomplished was absolutely meaningless, and he was letting it all sink in.

Zim had been on Earth for nearly five years at this point. And now he realized it was all just a ploy, all a waste of time. If he wasn't an invader, then what was his purpose here anymore? Obviously he couldn't take over the planet. And even if he had, he highly doubted that the Tallest would ever send the Armada anyway. It was all for not.

Zim let out a sigh and looked down at his hands in his lap and twiddled his thumbs deep in thought. He had changed over the years, which he found surprising. He actually grew taller, and back in Skool he blended in with the other students. Well…. at least height-wise anyway. He was amazed at this. As old as he was, when he was living on Irk, he only grew to a certain height, and then no more. Zim figured it must have something to do with the planet's atmosphere, and how the gravitational pull was much less than it was back on his home planet. Due to there being less pressure on his body, he came to the conclusion that it allowed his bone structure to loosen, thus permitting him this additional few feet of height.

Although he wasn't wearing his disguise at this time, he had altered that as well. The hair had become longer and almost shaggy. His clothes were the same, although now they were bigger to allow for the additional growing that he had done over the years. He still wore his pac, simply due to the fact that it provided him with fluids vital to his survival. The Tallest had disabled more than half of the pac from Irk, leaving Zim with only the essentials he needed in order to stay alive, and his spider legs. The shut off the weapons option, and the ability for him to make calls back to the planet from it.

Sliding the chair back, Zim rose from his computer and wandered towards the room that Dib was in. He reached the door and removed the glove from one of his hands. He then placed his bare hand over a panel, which scanned it and beeped. He entered a password on the number pad, and then the mechanical sound of the steel doors opening was heard.

Stepping into the room, Zim flipped a switch to his right, causing several iridescent overhead lights to flicker to life.

Dib, overhearing the doors open, clenched his eyes shut to keep the invading white light from entering too quickly when they lit the room. With his eyes shut, he flailed his body from side to side unsuccessfully cursing Zim's name. He managed to open his eyes and squint at the blurry figure standing not far from him. He didn't have his glasses on, but he knew who it was.

"Fuck you, Zim! FUCK YOU, you alien scum!" Dib screamed, fighting with the restraints some more, "I'll kill you if I ever get out of this!"

Zim sighed and walked over to a small table. Without a word, he picked up Dib's glasses and placed them on the boy's face. He then walked to the far corner of the room and grabbed a folding chair. Bringing it over towards Dib, he placed it on the floor and sat in front of him. Sitting backwards in the chair, Zim crossed his arms on the back and rested his head on it, staring blankly at the human.

Dib, now being able to see, looked around at his surroundings. He was in a plain white room with no windows, one small table, and the chair that Zim was sitting in. It looked much like an empty doctor's office. He looked at what was holding him captive next. He was sprawled upright on a metal table, with shiny metal clasps holding his wrists and ankles to the surface. He then looked back at the alien.

Zim was still sitting in the chair, staring blankly into the corner of the room. An awkward, heavy silence hung in the air of the small room.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Zim broke the silence.

"I know you're wondering what will happen to you, Dib-stink," the alien said in an oddly calm voice. Dib merely glared hatefully at the alien. Zim then stood up from the chair, and walked slowly over to Dib. He paused for a moment, then stated, "I'm going to let you go, Dib," his voice emotionless and hollow.

Dib, who had started struggling when Zim had gotten up from the chair, managed to hear this, and immediately paused, shooting him a questioning look, "What?" he asked, actually sounding somewhat disappointed.

Zim merely pressed a button on his pac, and a spider leg delivered a remote to him. He took it and pressed the large red button, causing the restraints to retreat back into the table. Dib slid onto the ground, landing in a crouching position. He stayed there for a moment before inspecting his wrists, and then glancing up at Zim.

"This is a trick of yours, isn't it?" Dib asked the alien, still crouching on the floor. He moved his hand to his ankle where he always kept a knife hidden.

"No, Dib. It's not," Zim said as he turned to walk towards the door, "You are free to go," he gave a waving gesture with his hand.

Dib sat there for a moment, dumbfounded. He watched as Zim walked towards the door.

"Hey, wait!" he called, standing up suddenly, taking a step towards Zim, acting as though he were going to reach for him, "Aren't you going to….. I don't know… do horrible, alien things to me?" there was a certain amount of disappointment lingering in his voice.

Zim stopped and placed his hand on the doorframe. His shoulders slumped, and he looked down at the ground. Without turning around, he said, "No. There will be no need for that. Not anymore. You may return to your pathetic Earth-life," and with that, Zim walked out of the room, leaving Dib alone in wonderment on the floor.

* * *

Ok, well that's chapter one. It feels funny writing something again since it's been about five years since I actually sat at this computer and was able to come up with a story. Anyways, please read and review! Chapter two will be up shortly, I'm sure. Thanks!


	2. Coffee?

Ok, so here's chapter two. I hope you enjoy! Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, yadda, yadda, yadda. You all know that.

* * *

Moments passed, and Dib slowly rose from his crouching position and made his way cautiously to the door. He peered around the corner in search of Zim, but the alien was nowhere to be found. Wandering out into the corridor, he noticed Zim sitting in front of a large computer monitor with the words 'Transmission Failed' blinking in red at the far end of the room.

Dib had always secretly admired the alien, even though he was always trying to foil Zim's plans for world domination, and prove to the world the existence of extraterrestrial life. Zim had his back to him, so Dib quietly approached the chair, no wanting to be noticed.

"I can hear you, Dib-human," Zim muttered without glancing back, "My senses are much more acute than that of any Earth-monkey's."

Dib stopped in his tracks. He couldn't think of what to do next. To Dib's surprise, he uttered the question, "Are you alright?" His eyes widened. He had never expected himself to be asking his sworn enemy if he were alright or not.

Zim hesitated for a moment and then slowly spun the chair around to face Dib, his hands in his lap and fingers laced. He shot the boy a questioning glare, "Why does it matter to you anyways?" He asked in a cold, harsh tone, "You hate me, remember? You're going to kill me if you ever got loose, right? Well you're loose. You're free to do whatever you want."

Dib was taken aback by this statement. Something must be horribly wrong with Zim in order for him to say this. He cautiously approached the alien, "Well, I don't know," Dib said softly, placing a hand behind his neck and glancing down at his feet, "You just… I expected you to rip out my insides or something; probe me… Or, well… something to that effect anyways," Dib shuffled his feet.

"Why, do you want me to? That can still be arranged, you know. I would love to see your filthy human insides," his voice was dull and monotone.

"No, no," Dib snapped quickly, "That's ok. I just… you let me go. Just like that. That's very… uncharacteristic of you. If I had you captured, I would dissect you in a heartbeat."

"Thanks for filling me in on that, Dib," Zim said, swiveling around in his chair and typing something on his computer keyboard. Irken letters popped up on the screen.

Dib paused for a moment and then asked one final time, "….so... You really aren't going to kill me? You're really letting me go?"

"Yes, Dib. I am letting you go, but if you stick around much longer, I might change my mind," he continued typing.

Dib felt odd. There was a part of him that was telling him to run for the hills and never come back, but yet, the other half was telling him to stay where he was. Something was horribly wrong; he could feel it.

Instead of turning in the other direction and leaving, Dib made his way over to the alien. He pulled up an extra chair and sat down beside him, "What's wrong?" He asked again.

Zim stopped typing and glanced down at his hands. He then glanced over at Dib, his eyes glowing from the light of the monitor. He shot the human a confused look, "Why do you want to know?"

Dib opened his mouth, and then shut it again. Why DID he want to know? Why did he even care? "I-I don't know," he stammered. He didn't even understand himself.

Zim looked at the human. He had grown much over the years. His hair was longer, and the scythe part of it hung down in his face now. He had grown to a height of over six feet, and still wore basically the same outfit: his trench coat, his boots, and black pants. However, now the shirts he chose to wear were plain black tees, and they fitted his figure, showing a relatively defined set of abdominal muscles resulting from their constant chases. He was no longer scrawny and weak like he had been several years ago. He was actually quite… handsome.

"This whole mission is a fake," Zim said bluntly.

"What do you mean?" Dib responded.

"My leaders, they never actually sent me here. They didn't even know this planet existed. It was sheer luck that I landed here. They expected me to fly out into space and die there. They told me I was a disgrace to the Irken Empire."

"Oh… I'm sorry," Dib said, surprising himself once again with his statement. He didn't know why he suddenly felt sorry for the alien. He stared at Zim hanging his head over the keyboard, breathing deep sighs of sorrow, "Why did they say that?"

"I never succeeded in anything. I thought that this would actually be my chance to prove everyone else wrong, and to show them I could do something right. If I took over this planet, the Almighty Tallest would have been so proud!" Zim waved a fist in the air, "But…" he dropped his head again, "It was all for nothing."

Suddenly Dib felt like he had been slapped. Silence filled the room, and it seemed like hours went by. Suddenly, Dib spoke, "Zim, you know, we've been enemies for years."

"Uh-huh. Yeah, I know, Dib-stink."

"But," Dib continued, "We never actually hurt each other."

Zim shot Dib a questioning glance, "So? What's your point?"

"Don't you see, Zim? We are both outcasts. I was always a geek in school, and never accepted by anyone, even my family. You aren't accepted on your home planet, or by your leaders. We never seriously tried to kill each other, because if one of us succeeded, we would be left with nothing. We need each other."

"Pfft!" Zim scoffed, "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!"

"But you know it's true, don't you?" Dib asked softly.

"I-" Zim lifted a hand as if he were about to say something, but then immediately put it down. He was silent for a moment, thinking. Finally, he said, "You're right," Coming to realization he added, "All those years spent chasing you, and trying to destroy you. I never actually tried to successfully annihilate you."

Another awkward silence hung in the air. Dib broke it by making a statement, "I spent more time thinking about you than any other person… Ever."

"That's just because you were plotting ways to destroy me," Zim shot back at him.

"No, actually. Well, I mean… sometimes, yes. But other times…" Dib let his sentence hang in mid-air. "Would you like to go out for coffee sometime?" He blurted out, immediately covering his mouth with his hands. He couldn't believe what he'd just said. 'I just asked my enemy of the past five years to go out for coffee! What am I thinking?!'

Zim looked at Dib with his hands over his mouth, and snickered lightly, "Actually, Dib. I would like that very much. Surprisingly I can drink coffee. Most other Earth beverages make me ill, but not coffee for some reason. I would enjoy drinking a hot, caffeinated beverage with you sometime."

Dib dropped his hands from his mouth, "……..Really??" He asked, shocked, "Um… well... ok then. I guess…. Is, um… is tomorrow good for you? Say, around three o'clock?"

"That would be fine, worm-baby," Zim managed to produce a small smile.

Din stood up out of his chair and put his hands behind his back, "Ok, well then, I'll…. I'll, um… see you tomorrow," he replied rather bashfully. He took a step towards the door and tripped over the chair. He fell clumsily to the ground, but hopped back up and quickly dusted off his coat, "Um… I'm ok," he said quickly, "…bye then."

"See you tomorrow, Dib," Zim chuckled at his clumsiness. He watched Dib get in the elevator and disappear, and then turned back to his computer. Realization struck him at that moment. He just accepted an offer to go to get coffee with his enemy; Dib. He was confused, and upset all at the same time, but a part of him was relieved, and he actually felt a sense of acceptance.

'So…" Zim thought to himself, "This is like… a type of human date-thingy?'

He shut down his computer and walked over to the elevator a few moments later. He pressed the button and walked inside once the metal doors opened.

"It's been a long fucking day," he muttered to himself as the doors closed and took him up to the main level of his base.

* * *

Ok, well there's chapter two, so I hope you all like it! I liked the part where Dib trips over the chair and falls down because he's embarrassed. Please review! Thanks!


	3. Human Traditions

Alright, here's the third chapter. I'm not sure how many chapters there will be for this story, and I'm hoping I will be able to get it all done before I leave for the military this upcoming Tuesday… Hopefully, otherwise there won't be any updates for at least two months, and that would suck. Anyways, enjoy! And don't forget to review, please! I love getting feedback.

* * *

Dib sat at the table staring into the dark liquid in the cup in front of him. He watched Zim's reflection in the glass on the table as the alien continuously stirred more and more creamer into his coffee. He seemed quite intent on overflowing the cup by adding an ungodly amount of it. Dib picked up his cup and took a sip. He glanced up at Zim, who seemed to be examining his beverage with a very serious look. Apparently he decided there wasn't enough creamer, as he began to open another container.

The small café was crowded today, with people streaming in and out constantly, and others typing on their laptops or jabbering excessively on the cell phones. Dib looked out the window to his left and watched the people walking by on the sidewalk. He and Zim hadn't really spoken since they arrived, and he looked over at the alien again. The pile of containers for the creamer was growing larger.

Dib cleared his throat, spooking Zim and causing him to jump slightly in his seat. "Sorry," Dib stated, "A little jumpy, huh?"

"I am not jumpy, Dib-stink," Zim hissed, stacking the empty containers in the shape of a pyramid, "I was just… focusing on my work," he pointed at his accomplishment of stacking ten containers on top of each other. He then ripped a small piece of napkin and drew the Irken symbol on it and stuck a toothpick through it. He stabbed the toothpick into the bottom of the container that was on top, making a little flag for his pyramid.

"That's… a lot of creamer," Dib said, cringing a little, "So… are you, uh… going to drink your coffee? I think it has enough creamer in it for about three cups-worth."

"I know when I have enough creamer in my filthy Earth drink!" Zim snapped. He lifted his cup and took a sip, spilling some on the table. He smacked his lips, "Ok. Now it is worthy of my drinking."

Dib rolled his eyes. Zim had always been stubborn about everything. "So," Dib hesitated for a moment, "what are you going to do now?"

"About what?" Zim asked, fiddling with the little make-shift flag.

"I mean, now that you found out about everything being a lie?"

Zim sighed and rested his chin on the table for a moment, looking at his pyramid. He then lifted his head and took another sip from his cup. "I don't know," he responded quietly, "I don't know where else I can go. I suppose I could always pack up GIR and the base and move on somewhere else, but…" he let his sentence hang in mid-air, "…I just don't know where else there is to go. I cannot go home," he continuously poked at one of the containers on the bottom until finally the entire structure lost its balance and collapsed. He sighed and stared at his ruined creation. He placed an elbow on the table and rested his head on it.

Dib looked out the window again, slowly drinking from his cup. "You know," he stated, "It's not so bad here. I mean, sure, most of the people are idiots, but it's not a bad place to be," he looked back at Zim, "There are some really beautiful places here."

"I have noticed," Zim said, "on occasion," he paused. He picked up his cup and gazed into it, "I was amazed at the many creatures that live on this planet when I first arrived. Irk does not have animals, or at least, not like you do here," he said quietly, taking another sip from his cup.

Dib nodded in agreement, tucking his hair behind his ear.

"How old are you now, Dib-monkey?" Zim asked without looking up from his cup.

"Almost nineteen. Why? How old are you?"

Zim laughed, "Our years on Irk are much different than yours on Earth. We have 1,820 days which make up one year on my home planet. So one year for me is equivalent to five of your human years. I was nearly twenty when I left on this mission, in my years. I've been here for over five Earth years, so that makes me twenty-one… in my years."

Dib cocked an eyebrow, "So you're telling me you are…" he paused for a moment, doing the math in his head, "…105 years old?"

"In your years, yes," Zim stirred his coffee.

"Ok, wait a minute," Dib said skeptically, "If you were that old already when you left, why were you so short when you arrived, and then once you got here, you grew so fast?"

Zim explained his theory about the gravity on his home planet, and how it was so much different than it was on Earth. Dib nodded and shrugged his shoulders, "Well I guess that makes sense," he drank the rest of his coffee, "What would you like to do with the rest of today?" he asked Zim.

The alien shrugged his shoulders, "I am no good at this socializing thing. I suggest you come up with something. This is the first time I have left my base to do something other than try to destroy you."

Dib laughed, "Alright. We'll figure something out."

* * *

Dib spent the rest of the day showing Zim around town. They walked in and out of shops, with Zim having to look at everything like a little kid at Disney World. They walked by a Halloween shop, where Zim saw an alien mask and freaked out, thinking it was a real decapitated alien head. Eventually Dib was able to explain to him it was only a mask, made out of synthetic materials, and Zim calmed down and laughed, slightly embarrassed.

While walking, the alien explained to Dib that he had never actually walked downtown and taken notice of all the shops. He had seen them before, but never paid any attention to what they were, or what was in them. Zim had to gawk at everything through the windows, and they were lucky if they could walk two blocks in under an hour.

Finally, as the sun was setting, the two walked up the sidewalk to Zim's base.

Zim stopped by the door and turned to face Dib, "Today was nice," he stated, "I guess not all humans are pathetic, and I guess I misjudged you. Thank you. I think I needed this after yesterday. Oh and… sorry for trying to destroy you."

Dib laughed coyly and put his hand behind his head again, "You're welcome," he responded, "And I guess I'm sorry too… for trying to capture you all the time… and stuff."

Suddenly there was silence, and nothing was heard except for the sound of birds chirping in a nearby tree. Dib looked at the alien, and smiled, then glanced down at the ground. He felt his face flush.

Zim noticed Dib's face, and raised a nonexistent eyebrow, "What's wrong with your skin?" he asked ignorantly.

"Huh?" Dib asked, trying to make it look as though he didn't know what Zim was talking about. He could feel his face starting to turn hot, and turned away slightly.

"Your face is turning colors," Zim said bluntly, still completely unaware of everything, "Do you have a disease?"

"Uh…" Dib paused, trying to think of something to say. He didn't know how to explain why he was blushing, "It's just… I don't know. I like you, I guess," he replied quietly. He turned and sat down by the door, embarrassed.

Zim didn't understand how to take that response, "I like you too, Dib-human. But why does your skin turn colors?" he sat down next to the boy.

Dib was silent for a moment. He felt odd, and didn't know quite how to explain it. Obviously Zim hadn't spent any time researching human emotions. He looked over at the alien, who was still looking at him, waiting for an answer to the question. There was another awkward silence, and Dib felt an overpowering urge to lean over and kiss his old enemy, "I can't explain it to you," he said.

"Nonsense!" Zim replied, "The almighty Zim understands all!"

Dib hesitated for a moment longer, and then leaned over and placed a kiss on the alien's lips. Zim was startled and didn't know what to do. Dib leaned back and took in the other's expression. Zim fell back slightly and looked at the boy, speechless.

After a few blinks, he asked Dib, "What was THAT?"

"A kiss," Dib replied quietly, "It's what people do when they like each other."

Zim put a finger to his lip and thought it over, "I am still unfamiliar with your human traditions, but," he hesitated, "that made me feel odd inside."

"Odd like how?" Dib questioned.

Zim scratched his head, "Tickly," he responded.

Dib laughed, "That's how it's supposed to feel."

"Really?" Zim looked surprised, "I kinda liked it, actually."

Dib smiled and blushed slightly again. He then rose from his sitting position and looked at Zim, who also stood up. "Well," he said, "I'd better be getting home. It's getting late."

"Yes and I need to tend to GIR, otherwise he will go crazy and eat everything in the house. I don't want him getting out of control because he ate a bag of sugar again."

Laughing, Dib agreed and the two said their goodbyes. As Zim opened the door, he turned around to face Dib, "Will I see you tomorrow?"

Dib smiled softly, charmed by the alien. "I would like that," he said.

"Then it is agreed!" Zim said triumphantly, "I will see you tomorrow, Dib-worm," he walked into the house and moments later could be heard screaming at GIR to put away the taquitos.

Dib laughed a stuck his hands into his coat pockets. He then turned and towards his house, glancing back as he reached the end of the sidewalk. He smiled to himself, recalling the day's events, and then continued on his way.

* * *

Well, I hope that's ok for now. I have to think of something else to write for the next chapter. I guess it kinda leaves you all in suspense for the moment, but hopefully I'll think of something soon. Review please! Thanks! 3


End file.
